i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think i got beer on your cat.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
