Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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