she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
