She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
