I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
