So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
