We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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