ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
of course. lets lasso hookers.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
