He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
