I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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