at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
