i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
