I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I didn't notice because vodka
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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