Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
