I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
