he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
