none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize