He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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