i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
