Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
