She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
