i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
