I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
