"it" just moved
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
