addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
