he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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