I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Come see our sink grown plant.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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