Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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