I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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