If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
