So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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