Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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