I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
