The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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