Your tits are I can't wait for
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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