Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
