ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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