you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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