Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
