it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
