I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
