I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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