There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
