i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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