I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
