Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
