So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
