Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
