nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
