did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
